Sex & Marriage | 1 Cor. 7:1-9

Do you remember True Love Waits? If you grew up in the church during the 1990s, you probably signed one of those commitment cards—maybe even wore a purity ring. At its peak, over 2.5 million teens pledged to remain "sexually pure until the day I enter a covenant marriage relationship."

The intentions were good. But somewhere along the way, the message got twisted. Instead of celebrating God's good design for sexuality, many of us heard that sex was dirty, shameful, and dangerous. I remember being told in youth group that even finding a woman attractive meant I was lusting after her—committing adultery against my future wife.

That message damaged both our witness and our ability to enjoy what God has given us.

The Overcorrection Problem

Today, we're seeing the pendulum swing to the opposite extreme. Some churches now say you can pursue whatever sexual desire you have, claiming liberty in Christ. Both messages—shame-based purity culture and permissive "anything goes" theology—miss the mark on what the Bible actually teaches about sex and marriage.

God Thought of Sex First

Here's a foundational truth: **God thought of sex before man did.** And when we leave God out of our sexual thinking, we're in trouble.

God gives sex as a good gift to be enjoyed in the confines of covenant marriage—with holiness, mutuality, and wisdom—for the good of our souls and the glory of Christ.

Eight Biblical Lenses on Sex and Marriage

When Paul wrote to the sexually permissive culture of Corinth, he addressed new converts who had swung from sexual immorality to believing that all sex—even in marriage—was spiritually inferior. His response in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 gives us eight crucial perspectives (all conveniently starting with "P"):

1. Purity

Purity isn't treating sex as dirty—it's treating sex as holy and placing it where God designed it to flourish. Paul writes, "Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband" (1 Cor 7:2).

Sex is like fire. In a fireplace, fire provides warmth and light. In the middle of your living room, it burns your house down. The issue isn't the fire—it's the placement.

2. Promise

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband" (1 Cor 7:3). Sexual intimacy is a covenant act that renews vows of belonging and faithfulness. It's not a bargaining chip—it's a promise expressed through mutual self-giving love.

3. Partnering

"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time" (1 Cor 7:5). Marriage intimacy is partnership, not a power play. The question isn't "What am I owed?" but "How can I love you well?"

Think of a two-person canoe. If one person rows and the other refuses, you just go in circles. Partnership means both rowing toward the same destination.

4. Pleasure

Yes, pleasure belongs in a biblical view of sex. God isn't anti-pleasure—He's anti-distortion. Read Song of Solomon if you doubt this. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, "Rejoice in the wife of your youth... let her breasts fill you at all times with delight."

The world sells pleasure as consumption: take what you want. The Bible presents pleasure as cultivation: give yourself in love.

5. Protection

Paul explicitly connects prolonged abstinence to temptation: "Do not deprive one another... so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control" (1 Cor 7:5). God's boundaries aren't bars to joy—they're guardrails for flourishing.

6. Passion

"It is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Cor 7:9). Passion itself isn't shameful—it's powerful. And God calls us to steward it wisely, either in chaste singleness or faithful marriage.

If you're single, you're not incomplete. If you struggle with strong desire, you're not broken—you're human.

7. Picture

"This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church" (Eph 5:32). Covenant marriage, including its intimacy, displays the faithful, sacrificial love of Christ for His people.

8. Pardon

Here's the gospel truth for anyone carrying sexual shame: "Such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Cor 6:11).

Your past doesn't define your future—God does. In Christ, there is cleansing grace for sexual sin and freedom from shame.

Common Joy-Killers in Marriage

What blocks couples from experiencing the pleasure God intends? Common barriers include:

- Unresolved conflict and bitterness

- Exhaustion or neglect

- Body shame or past baggage

- Trauma or pain

- Medical concerns

- Distrust from betrayal

These aren't shameful secrets—they're obstacles that need honest conversation, patience, and sometimes professional help. Make communication normal. Name obstacles without blame. Pursue counseling if needed.

A Vision for Healing

Our world is obsessed with sex, but it's getting the message catastrophically wrong. There are thousands in our communities struggling with sexual identities and behaviors that the world says are fine but that are causing real harm.

The church has the answer—not in shame or permissiveness, but in the gospel.

We can be voices of healing and flourishing if we grasp this truth: **Sex is a good gift from God, designed to burn brightly within the fireplace of covenant marriage.**

The narrow path between shame and permissiveness isn't easy to walk. But it's the path of life, joy, and human flourishing.

What lies about sex have you believed—either from purity culture or from our permissive society? How might God be inviting you to embrace His good design for sexuality?